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Tuesday, June 1st, 2004
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2:37 am - i got bored...
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| Monday, May 31st, 2004
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2:51 pm - scream loud...
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we're driving back from lake powell right now. rachel is sleeping (again!) and she has 3 new voicemails.
anyway, the lake was fun. rachel, tommy, and I were almost killed by an inner tube. I got ten bucks for jumping into the freezing cold lake. and I'm tan!
page sucks my ass. apparently, there's 9000 people that live there. I met 3. there is nothing to do in that town! saturday we went and saw shrek 2 at the one movie movie theater. 1 screen! and the seats were all flat. it was weird. last night, we walked around and hung out at safeway. then we went to the 10 lane bowling alley. we decided that wasn't fun so we went back to the hotel and watched comedy central.
I have to get red shirts ans khaki pants for work tomorrow. I'm nervous. ill probably do everything wrong and get fired my first day. I'm just smooth like that.
current mood: dirty current music: coheed & cambria
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| Thursday, May 27th, 2004
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11:40 pm - in the center of a restaurant...
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i work at target. they hired ME, yes ME, as a cashier that COUNTS money. everyone just think about that. oh did i mention i've failed math class 3 times. yah, i thought it was funny too. and i make more money than rachel!
rachel and i are leaving for the lake tomorrow at like 4 in the morning. we'll be gone till sometime monday.
i'm serious people, go check out the new my chemical romance. it's incredible. listen to the first song called "you know what they do to guys like us". it's just....wow! "helena" is damn good too!
current mood: sleepy current music: my chemical romance
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| Wednesday, May 26th, 2004
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11:29 pm - in the middle of a gun fight...
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yah i'm obsessing over the new my chemical romance right now. purevolume is a god for having the new stuff on there. june 8th! that's too far away. oh it's so incredible. i can't get over it!
current mood: excited current music: my chemical romance
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2:40 pm - hey girl!!!
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yesterday, was the best last day of school ever! everyone went to peter piper pizza and ate. then leanne, christie, may, leah, alicia, izaak, grace, daniel, and i went swimming at daniel's. daniel made fun of my "swimsuit". it was actually a lot of fun.
later, daniel and alicia came to pick me up and we went to desert ridge to see mikee (who was actually andy by the time we got there) and leah play. the funniest thing, though, was when christie and leah decided to go talk to/get pictures with john peachcake and jesse meeker. they didn't know them, they just thought they were random hot guys, but oh it was funny! anyway, after leah played, christie, may, leah, mikee and me went to christie's to pick up izaak's stuff before we went to his house. i helped christie get his stuff and when we came back outside they had left. well, they went to go get gas. so, christie and i decided it would be a good idea to use izaak's boxing gloves and fight in her front lawn. yah, it was fun but we should really stop smoking cuz after about 30 seconds we were both really winded.
we got to izaak's house and i started drinking. it took me about 15 minutes to get drunk. all i had was 4 shots of vodka and 3 mike's. i don't remember everything about last night but i remember enough.
what i do remember: overusing leah's "hey girl!" making best friends with coral hanging out with christina, vicky, and brittany wondering why the hell daniel was mad at me getting stuck in the kiddie rocking chair profusely apologizing to izaak's mom for acting so stupidly throwing up then eating toothpaste basically just making myself act like a fucking dumbass
i had so much fun, though!
thanks leanne, shelb shelb, daniel, and mikee for taking care of me. i really appreciate it.
it's finally summer and i am sitting in my pj's doing nothing but having a headace.
current mood: sick current music: heartwork
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| Monday, May 17th, 2004
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11:46 pm - how sad/damn nifty!
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| Sunday, May 16th, 2004
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9:47 pm - who owns a whole body shaving kit? oh, that's right, the same person who owns the william hung cd!
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i adore kimberly. we hung out last night at my house. we watched elephant which i really liked. rachel was right, it was very realistic. we also watched the DTR DVD. that's always fun. we did our fortunes like 187 times too. well not really but it was close!
today, we went to the lake with my family. that was a lot of fun. kimberly went on an inner tube for the first time. it was damn funny!
tomorrow i have ISS and then sometime after we're gonna go see mean girls! finally!
current mood: hungry current music: my mom yelling at me
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| Saturday, May 15th, 2004
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4:40 pm - i'm interactive...
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i can't decide if last night was good or bad. jamie, sam, and i went to the steel train show. the dumbass that i am, i thought it was at the mason jar. so, of course, we go there. we got in for free cuz the security people didn't stop us. we got to see rushmore play which was awesome cuz i like them. once we realized we were in the wrong place it took us like an hour to find the correct venue. i believe we passed it like 3 or 4 times trying to find it.
peachcake was awesome. dancing is really fun, but not with purses. according to stefan, falling and making your knee bleed makes you hardcore. yah, it really does. everyone go do it! the berlin project was good too. very talkative. i didn't stay much for steel train, but i heard ABC so i was happy. keith and jason got there real late. we hung out outside with them. jason locked his keys in his car. tyler, andy, keith, jamie, sam, jason, and i were all rockin out to tyler's bad ass keyboard. i went on the steel train bus with keith. that kid cracks me up. him and jason. they walked around talking to the bums and what not. keith told this bum he was in a band on tour and just hanging out with his girlfriend (me) before he had to go to vegas and he did it all in a flawless british accent! it reminded me of something kimberly would do. i loved it.
eventually we left. tyler and andy: i am terribly sorry about the events of that night. i'm sorry you had to be stuck in the middle of arguing. i personally don't like to argue in front of people not directly involved but there wasn't anything i can do. i'm sorry for delaying you. it was very nice of you to go out of your way to take us home and i took advantage of that. i'm sorry. it was greatly appreciated.
sam and i stayed the night at kyle's. for those of you who don't know, kyle lives right next door to my dad's house who thought i stayed the night at rachel's house down in peoria. anyway, kyle's house was fun, but i was so tired so we didn't party it up or anything. however, drunken 15 yr olds are funny.
i'm gonna hang out with kimberly tonight and either the jonny or matt frank. we'll see. if not then we're watching elephant and sewing.
tomorrow is the lake!
current mood: exhausted current music: the faint
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| Thursday, May 13th, 2004
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9:29 pm - jersey girls...
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let's see...yesterday was super eventful. i won't say why, i'll just say that sam, cherie, and i all laugh at inappropriate times. i got to visit dennis which was nice and i talked to him for an hour later that night. i also saw andy which was wonderful. i love that kid. we also got our prom pictures developed and i downloaded my digicam pics too. i tried to put them all on photobucket but it hates me. so, maybe eventually i'll get it.
i hung out with kimberly today. i miss that girl. it was fun. it felt like summer when we sat in a room and did a bunch of nothing. she taught me THE COOLEST card game EVER!
current mood: tired current music: the jet city fix
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2:23 am
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i saw this on this kid who i don't know's eljay:
"here i am trying to convince a room full of people that heroin isn't that bad; you could overdose on water too....it's called drowning"
i'm sorry but i find that to be damn funny!
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| Wednesday, May 12th, 2004
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10:37 am - bitter fashion...
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i am sooo bored!!! i didn't feel like going to school today. my paper was due and i had two tests that i wasn't prepared for. no one is online and i've been emailing rachel like no other so that i can go to lunch with them, but she hasn't replied yet. so, i made my band list. i made my myspace all pretty. i made a new face the jury account. and in a bit, i'm going to make my livejournal pretty. or at least try. ooh, fun little thing...the matches are the featured band on purevolume.com! yay for them! kimberly is coming home today! she's on her way here now! i can't wait. i'll get to hang out with her all the time now cuz she'll be real close.
i think i'm going to go do homework now. my mom, dad, and i had this huge discussion yesterday because i want to graduate early and my dad doesn't want me to. so i think we decided that i have to pass all my classes this year, get c's or higher 1st semester of my senior year (which is just history and english...my best subjects) and then i can graduate early, but i have to go to a communtiy college that spring semester and get c's or higher and if i do all that...they'll pay for me to go to FIDM in california. so, now that i know that that is actually possible (before they wouldn't pay, i had to or get a scholarship if i wanted to go there) i think it's just the motivation i need to do good. i want to prove to them that they were wrong all these years telling me i'm a failure and that i'll get no where with the way i'm doing things now. i'll prove them wrong, i swear i will.
current mood: bored current music: weezer
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| Sunday, May 9th, 2004
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2:26 am - nothing really matters...
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I'm trying to stay awake while driving back from tucson. the rule in matt's car is that if he has to stay awake everyone else has to suffer.
I gave sam a bunch of condoms and so we're all deciding on who's going to taste the vanilla one.
so, tucson is bad ass. I didn't like it at first cuz it just seemed icky but we walked around a lot and well its ultra rad. they had these really awesome thrift stores there. the best thing though was this tunnel that we walked through. it was just beautiful. we just walked around town. it was fun.
we got to the show late cuz things got mixed up and well we only got to hear audio blood. it sort of sucked and I felt bad cuz it was sort of my fault. turns out I was on the guest list and didn't know so of course I paid. suck. oh well I'm on the one for tomorrow so its all good. anyway, I played so much mortal kombat. it was ultra rad! shawn kicked my ass hardcore. we played like 10 bucks worth, I swear! tommy beat me at air hockey too. shawn and jon played acoustic outside. it was hot except for I liked it better last time because it was just so much more personal. shawn and I traded accessories. I got his grandpa's tattered hat and he got my pearls. we switched back though cuz I felt bad. we got prom pictures as well.
afterwards we roamed around tucson which was a blast. we went to this restraunt called the grill. I didn't like that place. the waitress was a bitch. they also have this rule where you have to buy something worth 2 dollars or more per person for every hour you're there. fuckin dumb.
then we hung out in the parking lot playing inflatable baseball while matt sang and played guitar. I have never had so much fun in such a simple act. I think it was because matt was singing so I must thank him for that cuz that just made it all perfect. it was an ultra rad night!
today is mother's day and I didn't get her anything. she is a wonderful mother for putting up with my shit and I don't give her enough credit.
tonight is the matches show in phoenix. we're gonna go to dinner with the boys so that should be fun.
take note, doll: sometimes love hurts and if you can get past all the stupid petty things you two do to each other I think you guys will be good together. I see it and I know you do too. now, if only I could take my own damn advice.
oh damn I forgot! vena and julia got up in this homeless guys face and he called us all emo. I got called emo by a homeless guy! how do homeless guys even know what emo is?! is homelessness the new scene thing to do? I didn't get that memo. I guess it's time to be sleep in the street core!
tonight I realized that I swear a whole lot!
current mood: tranquil current music: ours
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| Wednesday, May 5th, 2004
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10:04 pm - there's no one left...
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it all goes back to that one night at her house. we got drunk cuz that's what we do. i slept on the floor. they had the bed. i was slightly awake. i could hear them talking. talking about me, about everything. i don't think i've ever been that hurt before. i try to forget about it, go on like i didn't hear anything, but this is just bringing it all back.
is this my payback for being such a bad person?
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9:43 pm - burning bridges down...
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i feel like cherie: "my lymph nodes are swollen!" oh, i hope i'm not sick this weekend.
i missed first hour this morning. i hate the end of the year. i have no desire to go to class. it sucks becuase i need to do my work and pass. i just hate being there. anyhow, thanks to my phone being off the hook for a good hour, i got to see the penny & me video. it made my day. i also got to see 2 cure videos. that was nice.
we got our yearbooks today. i don't like my picture so much, but then again i never do. i never look like myself. anyway, i was looking through it and it made me really miss sunrise. i think i'm definitely going back there next year. i don't know. i want to graduate early and get the fuck out of school!
i'm getting lost more than usual. i don't know what to do. i feel like everyone is turning there backs on me. i feel like i can't get anyone back. why am i so goddamn needy?
the saddest OC episode occured tonight. well, not as sad as when anna left. but christ, everyones leaving! i seriously want to kick teresa in the eye. she ruined everything! damn her. adam brody is mad hot when he's acting all emo and saying pudding. gasp! best thing ever: adam brody talking about hanson in an ok way! oh, and summer really needs to stop stealing my clothes. or maybe i should just stop shopping at wet seal. nah.
current mood: anxious current music: mae
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| Monday, May 3rd, 2004
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9:22 pm - close our eyes, pretend to fly...
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ok, mexico. well, obviously it was fun. now that i think about it there isn't too much to detail about. i got to know danny, tommy, brad, and mike better than i ever have. i adore danny and tommy. i've known them so long but i never really knew them so it was nice. i talked to danny on the phone for a bit. mostly about sam, but still...it was nice to talk to him.
brad made me realize how good i have it. we talked alot and we were talking about our best friends and of course i told him that my best friend is in college now and i don't get to see her that much and it really sucks. well, he tells me that his four best friends are all in iraq right now. he won that one. i felt so bad. it still made me miss kimberly though.
so, there's this kid and apparently i used to see him at the lake and what not back in the day. i don't remember at all and i'm really trying to remember this kid but i can't. he seems to know a lot about me which is somewhat creepy. oh well.
friday night is rx bandits and i hope i can scrape up the money to go. then it's the matches weekend! saturday night in tucson and then sunday night in phoenix! i'm so fucking excited. i hope my dress turns out good.
i really wish there was something i could do. someones ass i could kick or somethng.
current mood: aggravated current music: the thrills
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| Sunday, May 2nd, 2004
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1:47 pm
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sam and i are going back to phoenix in a few hours. this whole computer is in espanol!
oh, how i love mexico! ill detail what i can when i get home but as everyone knows...what happens in mexico STAYS in mexico!
haha!
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| Friday, April 30th, 2004
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4:40 pm - my new favorite qoute...
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"I feel like life should be a full-on assault." -shawn harris, the matches
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3:58 pm - cadillac blues...
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i finally broke down and bought the new hanson CD. all $20.53 of it. that's right. i haven't paid that much for a CD in like.....a really long time. oh the things we do for our all time favorite bands. (in case you weren't aware, i have 2 lists of favorite bands: all time and just favorite) anyway, it came with a fun little DVD and well i love it. hanson can cheer me up like no other. did i mention i love it?!
moving on.....the rachels came by before they left. sigh. i wish i was going. i really regret not going. i regret everything i do though. i thought this was going to be a turning point for me. i thought it meant that i was growing up and becoming responsible. i think all that lasted maybe a week. now we're back to regrets.
sam and i are leaving for rocky point in 2 hours. i like going on trips and everything but i'm not sure that all the stress and being yelled at is worth it. i guess we'll find out.
i wish i was going to coachella. i hate my parents. i hate being young.
current mood: confused current music: hanson
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| Thursday, April 29th, 2004
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4:46 pm - keep up with the porn stars...
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why am i such a bad person? why can't i change it?
anyway, cherie and i went swimsuit shopping last night. i got a black one piece from target. i think the last time i had a one piece i was like 2. i like it though. it looks very classic. of course my mom questioned it. i think she thinks im trying to hide something besides my tattoo.
we went to sonic and chunk was working. cherie gave him a 5 dollar tip. too bad he ended up 9 bucks short. we planned on picking him up at 8:30 and he was gonna watch the OC and hang out with us. well, we go back there and guess who's all there. yup...john and all the other boys. oh joy. he didnt say a single word to me. i talked to bitchin and what not of course cuz i adore that kid. i wish i wouldve remembered to ask john for my deck back. i was too busy thinking how much this sucked. anyway, chunk ended up going with them because they had previous plans. i didn't really care i just wanted to go back and watch the OC.
oh how i love the OC. that's all there is to it. i love that show! i also love the vegas.
i ended up coming home late. my mom was all pissed off because ian broke one of her margarita glasses. so of course she takes it out on me...just like she always does. she didnt believe me that i went shopping and went to rachels. yes, because i was out getting drunk, high, and having sex on a wednesday night when, even if i was presented the opportunity, would still opt for the OC. everyone knows how upset i get when i miss an episode.
may 17th is my hotel year! it's a monday and now that i got my progress report i'm most likely not going to be able to go. sucks because i like them. corey told me about them. theres 187% chance he'd be there and i'd really like to see him. he used to sing one of their songs to me. i can't remember which one exactly but he said it reminded him of me. will i ever get over that kid? sigh.
mexico is this weekend. thank god!
current mood: bitchy current music: the rocket summer
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| Tuesday, April 27th, 2004
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1:51 pm - stealing! ultra el yay!
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*If you could have 5 friends stranded on an island with you, who would they be?
kimberly, rachel, rachel, sam, shawn and jon (can i do that? they're like a set so really they count as one cuz seriously no one is funnier!)
*If you could have only 5 things (not people) what would they be?
CDs, CD player, LJS, jamba, and a computer
*What do you think would be the worst way to die? (Ex. drowning, being burned, being hung, cut up into little pieces)
having my limbs chopped off and bleeding to death or burning to death
*If you had to pick someone to marry right now, who would it be and why?
i dont know. either andy, ben, or steven cuz they're my best guy friends and they'd keep me happy. especially ben, because i know he cares about me and what i do.
*Will you have sex before you get married? Why or why not?
definitely.
*Realistically, do you think you will drink or get drunk before you are 21?
definitely.
*Have you had a nightmare lately? If so, what was it about?
yah last night i had this dream where some girl put a pirahna in my back pocket and it scared the hell out of me. i dont like fish near me and the pirahna was trying to bite my damn finger off. i didnt like it.
*Do you ever have a reccurring dream? If so, what is it?
yah, i'm in this kitchen chopping vegetables with a huge knife and someone comes up behind me and tries to stangle me so i stab him with the knife repeatedly.
*Have you ever had a dream, and then that exact same thing happened in real life? Deja Vu, huh?
well the previous dream occured in jamie's kitchen. her kitchen and the outside of the house is EXACTLY like the one in my dream. and i have deja vu all the time.
*Do you have a secret you have never told ANYONE??? If so, what is it?
not that i can think of and if i did its not like i'm going to post it on eljay
*What is your absolute favorite song at this very moment?
lady in a blue dress by senses fail
*What do you think of "inside jokes"?
ultra rad if you're in on it and sucky if you're not
*Do you believe in love at first sight? If no, why not?
well not at first glance cuz that would just be loving them because theyre pretty but sight is more like seeing them talk and interact with people and i think thats possible. did that make sense?
*Have you ever wished upon a star, seriously? If so, what did you wish for?
i have once but i dont remember what i wished for. i usually opt for the light tunnel and 11:11 wishes.
*Do you know a member of the opposite sex who you are comfortable enough with to talk about almost anything? If so, who?
ben ben or steven. i think i could tell them anything.
*Do you have a friend of the same sex that you could tell almost anything to? Who?
kimberly and the rachels. hands down.
*If you found out that you were gonna die tomorrow, is there anything you would want to say or do?
i would do whatever the hell i wanted. i wouldnt worry about the consequences.
*Right now, what is your biggest regret?
that i have way too many regrets
*Name one person who has seriously changed your life for the better.
kimberly. no question. she is everything i want to be. she showed me soo much and taught me so many things. if it werent for her i'd probably be hanging out with meredith still. *shudder*
*For the worse?
oh definitely meredith. sure i had a lot of experiences with her that i needed to get out of the way but she made me a bitch and i was constantly grounded because of the things we did. ugh.
*Do you want to have any kids? If so how many and what will you name them?
i want a boy and a girl. id name the boy either andy, zach or conor and the girl either scarlet, pearl, or audio. my poor children are going to hate me.
*Is there something that you totally oppose?
theres alot of stuff i oppose i just cant think of any examples right now.
*What is the worst name anyone has ever called you, and who called you that?
the only thing i can think of was 7th grade when i had this girl go ask this boy if he liked me and he said that i'd be hot if i chopped off my head because i had a witch nose but a nice body
*When did you last cry? What makes you cry?
thursday night i think. alot of things make me cry.
*Have you ever seriously thought about committing suicide? If so, why?
yah several times and a few attempts. its a very complicated reason.
*Theoretically, if you were going to commit suicide, how would you do it?
if i had the guts, slit my wrists but realistically id go with pills.
*Who are 5 friends you would do anything for?
kimberly, rachel, rachel, tosh, and corey
*If you could change one thing you have done in the last 24 hours, what would it be?
i wouldve stayed at my moms house so i couldve gone to lunch with the rachels
*Who can make you smile, no matter what mood you are in?
kimberly
*During World War II, a woman was forced to choose to take with her to safety only one of her two children, who consisted of one boy and one girl. if you were faced with this choice, which would you choose or what would you do?
id give up my spot so that both of them could go
*What is the corniest pick up line you have ever heard?
"i know im not the best looking person here, but im the only one talking to you" thank you kimberly and mary!
*Is there someone you can talk to for 12 hrs straight and never get bored? If so who?
kimberly, so much random shit comes out of that girls mouth
*Would you ever get plastic surgery? If yes, what would you have surgery on?
yes and i intend to once i stop growing. my mom and i are getting nose jobs.
*What CD is in your CD player right now?
i'm at my computer but im listening to old from autumn to ashes
*Would you ever get a tattoo? If so, what and where?
i did get one but i want senses fail lyrics on my lower back, "theres a sick little suicide in all that we do, you decide which ones for you" around my wrist, and fashioncore on the back of my neck. i like words alot.
*If you got pregnant when you were really young, like 14, would you have an abortion?
probably but i wouldnt be comfortable with it
*Do you feel safe at school? On a scale of 1-10 how safe do you feel? (10 being very safe, 1 being not safe)
10, i dont feel unsafe at all.
*What is the scariest movie you have ever seen? The funniest?
i dont know there are too many to choose from!
*Have you ever gotten a detention or suspension? If so, for what?
i got detentions all the time in elementary school for getting in fights. in 7th grade i brought a knife to school. then just stupid stuff like tardys, dress codes and missed wednesday schools. toosdays at the zoo!!! does anyone remember that?!
** basics ** Name:: sheila Nickname:: she she, she, sheila e., stella, or whatever someone feels like calling me Location:: phoenix and peoria, az Gender:: girl Birthplace:: phoenix Birthstone:: diamond Birthday:: april 7th Sign:: aries Righty or Lefty:: righty-o Screenname:: in ambulance, scene eight, fear before you, audio bl00d, and so many more
** your looks ** Height:: 5'2" Shoe size:: 5-6 Hair Color:: its supposed to be black but it faded back to dark brown Hair Length:: short Eye Color:: poo brown Size:: size of what?? Glasses:: yah when i wear them Braces:: god no Piercings:: just my ears twice Tattoos:: haha! yah! i have a tattoo and its the matches guy and he's saying we bleed in audio
** fashion ** Where do you shop:: thrift stores and wet seal What do you usually wear:: depends on my mood What kind of shoes do you wear:: flip flops, converse, and heels Do you wear a watch:: i havent worn my lucky charms watch in awhile Color you never wear:: purple. i hate that color. Color you wear at least once a week?:: black Something you wear everyday:: uhhh my fork bracelet Do you wear make up everyday:: yah some form of it Make up essential:: dr pepper chapstick Most cherished piece of clothing:: my old black tshirt You wouldn't be caught dead wearing:: bright red spandex pants, a fanny pack, and rollerblades Do you wear belts:: of course Do you wear hats:: not really no How many pairs of shoes do you have:: not enough/too many ** music ** Favorite kind of music:: the good kind Least Favorite:: the bad kind How many CD's do you have:: over 400 Last CD you bought:: i cant remember Whats in your CD player right now:: senses fail, the matches, and modest mouse Do you download music:: absolutely
** Favorites ** Color:: black Number:: 187 Season:: spring Ice cream:: mint chocolate chip Website:: eljay or myspace Quote:: the only one i can think of right now is "we can't stop here! this is bat country!" who says that? really now! Store:: wet seal Band:: senses fail, the matches, and the blood brothers Singer:: as creepy as this is i have to say matt gilbert Rapper:: uhh...kelis? Group:: group?? Song:: right now its lady in a blue dress Movie:: the good girl Actor:: jake gyllenhaal Actress:: maggie gyllenhaal or scarlett johannsen Kind of movies:: so called "indie" Place to be:: shows Time of day:: the dead of night Clothing Brand:: wet seal Animal:: kitties Food:: french fries Holiday:: my birthday. you can do whatever the hell you want on your bday Shape:: stars Restaraunt:: dennys Fast food place:: long john silvers Boy's name:: zach, andy, or conor Girl's name:: scarlet, pearl, or audio Word:: fuck Month:: april Candy:: chocolate covered maraschino cherries ** love and relationships ** Sexual Preference:: boys but girls are fun to make out with Boyfriend or Girlfriend:: nope Crush:: too many Do you believe in love at first sight:: sure What do you look for in a guy/girl:: funniness and niceness Best physical feature:: hair and lips and clothes Best hair color:: im not very partial to red heads Best eye color:: blue or green ** randoms ** Do you paint your nails:: when i get around to it What color is your tooth brush:: red What's on your desktop:: a motorcycle (its not my desktop) Do you like roller coasters:: absolutely! Do you do drugs:: when i get them Are you a virgin:: nope Do you have any pets:: yah huh What time do you go to sleep:: whenever i get tired
current mood: sick current music: savage garden (hahaha!)
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